Communication is KEY!

I don't care who you are and where you come from. I don't care what kind of relationship you are in. You might be communicating with a sibling, a child, a friend, your parents, a significant other or even God; the thing is you need to communicate in order to have a healthy and strong relationship with them. For me a healthy communicative relationship is key to a happy life with those you love and care for.

We all communicate in different ways. Touch, looks, words on paper, pictures along with many various other ways. I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about face to face or over the phone or through a video chat type of communication. Texting is NOT the best way to communicate. It's the worst way to communicate, especially if you are really trying to understand someone thoughts and feelings or even have them understand yours. I don’t hate texting. I do it often but when I truly want to share myself with others I do it over the phone or in person. In person is the best when possible.

You want to see the way they react to your comments. You want to hear the inflections in their voice as they listen to your words. You want to feel what they are feeling and boy it makes a difference when you can hear another person’s voice or see their acceptance of you in the smile that spreads across their lips and shows off those pearly whites.

I love talking. Always have and always will. I love learning about people and what makes them tick. I ask a lot of questions when I meet someone or when I'm curious about something. Just ask my mom, she'll tell you and she'll tell you I've done it my whole life. I'm pretty sure I've annoyed her and quite a few other people in my life with the amount of questions I like to ask.

I'm a pretty open person about who I am and you will find it hard for me to hide my feelings. I wear my heart on my sleeve.

If you want the person you are trying to communicate with to understand you, then you need to tell them. You can't wait and sit and hope that they'll eventually get it. You have to open your heart and mouth and tell them. I know that sometimes that is really hard for people. I get it, it's hard to share feelings and tell people what's going on but when you do talk, things change and they can change for the better. If you want someone to understand who you are then by all means tell them. Share with them your story. Share with them you fears and weaknesses. Share with them your strengths and goals. You'd be surprised how many people will listen and not judge you, because guess what, they might just be going through the same junk you're going through.

It's easier for someone to share with you their feelings if you share yours. It's easier for someone to share their fears if you share yours. It's easier for someone to open up to you if you open up to them. People love you more the more they know you. It's true and if they don't you don't have to have them in your life. Keep the people in your life that accept you and want to help you grow for the better.

When I tell people that I've been to a therapist and that I'm thinking about going back to see one again, it opens doors. I'm sharing my deepest thoughts and fears with them and they feel comfortable enough to share theirs with me.

True and heartfelt communication opens one to trust and understanding. Sharing who you are and what your hopes, fears and desires are can create love and a desire to better understand the person you are communicating with. You will better understand who they are and what makes them tick. I was talking to a friend recently about how when she learns more about another person and what struggles they might be dealing with causes her to have a stronger love and understanding of who they are. Her love for them grows. She creates a connection beyond just the surface mask we allow everyone to see.

It’s okay to be vulnerable in communication. Opening your heart can be scary but not all scary things are bad. I recently had another friend open up to me about their struggles and what was hard for them. I’m beyond grateful for that friend and their willingness to trust in me to share their deepest fears and weaknesses. It allowed both of us to open a deeper line of communication and grow closer as friends. I’m able to more deeply understand them and be there for them when they need me and me them.

Opening your heart to love is wonderful. Be vulnerable and know that you are surrounded by a friend or loved one who will love you for you and your mistakes and strengths. They will see you in what the Savior and Our Heavenly Father sees in you. Be strong and have humility.

            My friend Katie recently shared with me a podcast from the LDS Living podcast All In. It was titled “Living a Mindful Latter-day Saint Life.” (I’ll post the link below) One of the things I pulled most importantly for me from this podcast was being in the moment when you are with people. We must create real connections and be in the moment and not ahead of it when we are having a conversation. Don’t just go through the motions to go through them but be in them. One way I do this is by asking my friends to repeat themselves because I’ll have gotten lost in my own train of thought. This may drive them nuts but for me it shows that I care enough to not just hear what they are saying but to actually listen to what they are saying.

            There is a difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is basically what it reads. You hear the words coming out of their mouths but listening to them is so much more. Listening is hearing the words and processing them and actively striving to understand what they are saying. Its listening well enough to ask questions in response to what they are saying and acknowledging what they are saying.

            Please open your heart and ears to those important to you in your life. Let them know you love and care for them. Tell them. Communicate with them who you are and what you need and do it lovingly. Don’t demand but talk humbly and with love and respect.

            

https://apple.co/2MBFpTz

Welcome Back!

Well hello! It's been a while.

Where have I been you ask or why have I started my blog back up again?
Well, blogging was never really my thing, despite getting a degree in Journalism, but I have felt the need lately to get my feelings and thoughts back out into the world. I don't know if my thoughts, opinions and feelings will make sense to everyone that reads this blog but hey I'm getting myself out there.

So I hope you will wait on pins and needles for what's to come. I don't know how often I'll blog but I hope that whenever I feel inspired that I will share what I'm feeling with you.

I have my best epiphany's in the shower. Why does it always happen in the shower? Am I alone in this? Does anyone else out there come up with their best thoughts in the shower? Alas, I have nothing to write with in the shower or to record my thoughts but I will do my best to convey my feelings to you on the world around me and how I interact with it.

Stay tuned for my next post!

I NEED Your HELP!!

Man, finding a job is no fun. A person spends so much of their time educating themselves trying to figure out what they want to do in life, and when they finally figure it out there is nothing available.

For months I have been checking websites looking for openings at businesses throughout the greater Seattle area, I've applied to jobs at Eddie Bauer, Microsoft and ROOT Sports (local sports broadcast company.) I have yet to receive a letter from any of them saying they would love to have me in for an interview to meet the awesomeness that I am and then hire me. Oh boy would it be great to get an interview.

Here in lies the problem, they all want years of experiences. And that brings up the ultimate question. Where do you get this experience if everyone wants you to have experience before you hire them? I don't get it. I haven't spent my life wasting my time in school learning the knowledge needed to get one of these jobs only to be told I need more experience to get one. My understanding is that you get this experience at these jobs. Maybe I'm wrong.

I lived a brief stint as a Costco employee for a few months but that was just seasonal and ended in early January. So since then I have been unemployed for the most part, sometimes helping my dad at his bagel shop as well as helping my brother when he needs it doing remodeling. I am truly grateful for that because without those little jobs I would probably have no money, and I have some bills to pay. (My parents are awesome for letting me bum off of them.) One bright thing occurred recently when Costco called me last week. They liked me just enough to call back and ask if I wanted a permanent part-time job working the front end. So I start back there again soon. I still plan on looking for my career job as I work there.

I guess one of the points I want to make is that I need to create that experience for myself that these companies are looking for. (Are you telling me you didn't pick that up from reading the above paragraphs? Oh well, I'm telling you now.) So in order to create that experience I have though about writing more within this blog pertaining to more interesting things I see in the world or writing about my opinions concerning what's going on in the world around  me.

Another idea I had was staring a podcast. What do you my friends think? Should I start one? If so, what should I talk about? I present this to you. I would love to hear your ideas about topics I should cover. I would love any thoughts about what people might be interested in hearing about.

Thanks for reading.

Until next time!!

PS: Here's a before and after pic of a kitchen my brother and I remodeled.

Why I date!

I've spent a lot of my adult life dating. Why you ask? Because I have to if I want to get married and spend the rest of my life with the woman I love and be able to raise a family together with her. I come from a large family. I have six brothers, five of which are married. Out of those five marriages has come 19 nieces and nephews. My brothers love their wives and vise-versa. They love their children and their children love them. I know what love is. I've experienced it and I have shared in it. I have seen its effects on the world around and I have seen what great blessings it can bring into my life and the lives of those around me. I can't wait until the day I get to share in that same love that I see my brothers and their families share with one another on a daily bases.

As mentioned before I have dated much in my adult years. I didn't date much as a youth. Yes I went out and hung out with people or went to school dances and such but it wasn't until after my return from my mission that I began to really take the time to actually start dating. It may not have been that I didn't want to in my youth but dating than wasn't easy.

It's not any easier now. But why? As adults we learn to become more confident, we have hopefully settled in to who we are as human beings. We have made many decisions throughout the course of our life that has molded us into the person we now are. So why then do we find it so hard to find someone that can settle into that life we have created? Are we afraid of what falling in love can do? Are we afraid of rejection? Are we afraid to take a leap into something that can make us happier than we have ever been before? I think we are.

I am by no means perfect. I have my faults and for the most part I know what most of them are and I try to improve upon them daily. Many of them I know not of and may never know unless there is someone willing to help me understand them and help me to better my self. I make mistakes but making mistakes is part of who we are as humans. That is never going to change and if you expect are humans frailties to change as humans then you have lost reality and are living in a fantasy world.

Life is a blessing. One that we should not take for granted. I was read a quote from a leader of my church that spoke of Christ seeing us in terms of forever and not in terms of where we are. Christ sees our potential. He sees us for what we can become and what great and amazing things we can do despite our imperfections. If He believes in us then why don't we believe in each other. Why do we see each other in terms of now and not our potential future selves? I would submit that it's because we are human and we are not perfect, but that's no excuse for not trying. We have a responsibility to look past what people are now and their imperfections and see them as Christ and our Heavenly Father see them.

I write this because I sometimes fear that I'm this is how people see me. I fear that people see me for who I am right now and don't always look at the potential of who I can become. I know that I can only attain a certain type of growth on my own. I know that I can only make it so far on my own in life. And I understand that I need my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ to help my become a better person, but I also feel that I need the the Love of a woman, other than my mother, to make me a better man. I need someone that sees me they way I want to see them. I want to love someone in a way that knows now bounds and that can last the eternities. I want a love that pushes me beyond the brink of life and takes me to a place where I can someday be like unto my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

Someday I will find this love. Yes I know my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me. I know my family loves me. I know these things to be true without a shadow of a doubt.

I date not because I enjoy having my heart broken but because I someday want the love I see my parents share. I date because someday I want to hold the women of my dreams in my arms I see her the same way she sees me, with a love that knows no bounds. I date, despite its hardships, because I know I must sift through the troubles of it to find the one women that will make it worth all the heart break.

My heart has been bruised many times through heart ache but in the end all it does is make it stronger  Stronger so that someday when I am with the women I love with all my heart we can make the hard choices together when raising our family together in this life and through the eternities.

Hopefully this all makes sense! Thanks for reading.

Kicking Puppies!

Have you ever kicked a puppy? Have you ever felt the urge to punt it across the living room?

If you have you are going to hate your self in the morning! Too often do we find ourselves in an "existential quandary full of loathing and self doubt." Do not fill the void in your life with the evil habit of kicking small animals. Hailee wants to punt a duck! You may ask yourself, why? No one really knows what is going through her gradumacated mind. And you do not have to! Just know that if you ever have the urge to kick a duck that you will always think about Hailee, "The Duck Punter."

I have kicked a dog before but only because it was chasing me as a missionary on my bike. I have also hit a duck I think while driving a car many years ago.

Cliff had a crush on Chelsea (not the real spelling of her name according to Cliff) who is married and has children. The day she got married Cliff felt like his heart was ripped from his tender man chest and thrown to the ground. Poor Cliff Chandler!

Hailee's worst experience ever came when a man, who she knew not, showed up at a haunted forest and attacked her with a flame thrower of death carrying ducks. Hence her desire to punt them. OH BOY!

Dear Hailee,
Please stop punting ducks. It hurts them! How would you feel if people punted you?
Your Stalker,
Unknown...

As I sit here on the porch of LIFE, I wonder what to do. Should I kick a duck or a puppy? Some would say, "Neither you quack!" Pardon the pun! HE HE HE!

To all of you reading this you are probably wondering what this post is about. It is about nothing, but I hope you enjoyed it.

GO DUCKS!!

I Will Find It!

What should I do?

Every now and again you like people. You like a girl that knows you exist but it feels like things are so different that it just isn't going to work out. Maybe I'm just thinking too much or I'm hoping for something that may never ever be there. But to hope is what keeps us alive. To hope provides man with the opportunity to live and live well and with joy. I've had so many different ups and downs and so many times that I have been have to care about others. When the heart feels happiness nothing can stop you from doing anything you set your mind to.

When you like someone it can change your whole world around. It can open doors you never thought possible. You think of them and you light up. You feel happy. You want to be with them and enjoy their company. You want the best for them and just want them to care for you the way you care for them. I've seen it in the lives of those I love around me. My brothers and their wives care deeply for one another and you can see the change it has brought into their own lives. One greater love comes than that of a parent who loves their children. My brothers would do anything to protect their kids and family and show that love in the way they play with them and do activities with them and just be with them.

This is the love that makes man better, the Love that Christ speaks of and the love that will save lives and bring us all closer together. Someday I will find that love and I cannot wait for it to happen. But until that day I must wait and wait I must. The Lord knows me and only wants the best for me. All I can hope is that I am patient and do what he asks of me. I must love him the way he loves me and the way my parents and family love me.

My hope is that someday I will find that woman that makes me feel like I can do anything. I hope to be able to find the woman that helps me become better than I am and to enjoy life even more so than I do now. The woman that makes me a better man. I know that it is my responsibility to become better than who I am before marriage, but I can only go so far until I find the woman who makes me even better. I know I'm not perfect and I have quite a ways to go, but I hope I can find the woman who will help me do that with the Lords help.

What do you think?

Long time no talk!

So it has been close to a year since I last wrote anything in this blog. I'm just to lazy and really haven't cared to be honest but I figured I'm not doing anything so maybe I should.

There isn't really a whole lot going on in my life right now. Since my last post I have gotten a new job at the UVU bookstore as a cashier, I like it and it's been good to me. I don't really work at Monticello Apartments anymore and that's okay. I'm more of a consultant for the new managers.

I'm still single and have yet to meet the girl of my dreams. Can't seem to get it right but I suppose I'll just have to keep trying. It's been quite the year since my last post when it has come to dating. A lot of ups and downs but I'm still alive and I'm grateful for that. But oh how I wish I had someone in my life.

I was able to see my parents a month ago and watch my younger brother Ned play some college baseball in Oregon. He may get the chance to move down here and go to school with me at UVU. We will see. I've accomplished another year there and have somehow managed to keep a decent GPA. UVU has been good to me. It was good being able to see my parents. I love them so much and I don't know what i would do with out them in my life. They do so much for me and I don't know if I'll ever be able to repay their love for me. I guess I just have to do my best to love them with all my heart.

While in I was in Oregon I also hung out with Cliff and his family in Idaho at their ranch. It was fun. Cliff and I spent one of the days mending fences around the 500 acres of land surrounding their house. Here is a pic of one of the hills we walked up. It sucked.



I gained some weight during the winter and to be honest I'm irritated by it. It's my own fault. I didn't really play any intramural sports and I sit a lot at work. My hope is to loose some of that weight this summer by being active and playing sports. Hopefully more of that will happen when the Sun decides to come out and stay. I've been playing intramural soccer and softball so far this summer and some ultimate frisbee when we can get people to show up. I bought a new frisbee the other day because mine broke last time we played. I'm kinda happy about it though because I like my new one better. It's Red!!
In my last soccer game I was playing goalie and wasn't paying attention very well. Because of my lack of attention I ran right into the outside of the goal post. Popped up pretty quick though. Takes more than that to take me down. If I can get the video of it from the intramural office than I will post it.

Back in March, Cliff, Gavin and I went to Goblin Valley in south west Utah. That was pretty fun. We took some pretty sweet pics and got some good video of some funny stuff. I'll post some later.

I'm going to Louisiana in June for a week with my mom to see my brother and his wife and children. It should be pretty fun to get away and see them. I haven't seen them all together since my brothers wedding in May of '09. I hope to have some good fun and just relax. My mom bought my ticket too, which is a total plus on top of seeing family.

I've noticed something about my self recently. I'm becoming more and more bitter and I seem to be treating people more bluntly and not as nice. I need to stop and I want you to help me if you're somebody who is reading this. I don't like the way I've been acting cause I know it's not right and I'm not being better than who I can be. I've just got to pray for the Lords help and strive to better serve others. I Love my family and my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and I need to show them more on a regular bases.

If you've made it this far thanks for reading and being my friend!

Take care and until next time!!