I don't care who you are and where you come from. I don't
care what kind of relationship you are in. You might be communicating with a
sibling, a child, a friend, your parents, a significant other or even God; the
thing is you need to communicate in order to have a healthy and strong
relationship with them. For me a healthy communicative relationship is key to a
happy life with those you love and care for.
We all communicate in different ways. Touch,
looks, words on paper, pictures along with many various other ways. I'm not
talking about those. I'm talking about face to face or over the phone or
through a video chat type of communication. Texting is NOT the best way to
communicate. It's the worst way to communicate, especially if you are really
trying to understand someone thoughts and feelings or even have them understand
yours. I don’t hate texting. I do it often but when I truly want to share
myself with others I do it over the phone or in person. In person is the best
when possible.
You want to see the way they react to your
comments. You want to hear the inflections in their voice as they listen to your
words. You want to feel what they are feeling and boy it makes a difference
when you can hear another person’s voice or see their acceptance of you in the
smile that spreads across their lips and shows off those pearly whites.
I love talking. Always have and always will. I
love learning about people and what makes them tick. I ask a lot of questions
when I meet someone or when I'm curious about something. Just ask my mom,
she'll tell you and she'll tell you I've done it my whole life. I'm pretty sure
I've annoyed her and quite a few other people in my life with the amount of
questions I like to ask.
I'm a pretty open person about who I am and you
will find it hard for me to hide my feelings. I wear my heart on my sleeve.
If you want the person you are trying to
communicate with to understand you, then you need to tell them. You can't wait
and sit and hope that they'll eventually get it. You have to open your heart
and mouth and tell them. I know that sometimes that is really hard for people.
I get it, it's hard to share feelings and tell people what's going on but when
you do talk, things change and they can change for the better. If you want
someone to understand who you are then by all means tell them. Share with them
your story. Share with them you fears and weaknesses. Share with them your
strengths and goals. You'd be surprised how many people will listen and not
judge you, because guess what, they might just be going through the same junk
you're going through.
It's easier for someone to share with you their
feelings if you share yours. It's easier for someone to share their fears if
you share yours. It's easier for someone to open up to you if you open up to
them. People love you more the more they know you. It's true and if they don't
you don't have to have them in your life. Keep the people in your life that
accept you and want to help you grow for the better.
When I tell people that I've been to a therapist
and that I'm thinking about going back to see one again, it opens doors. I'm
sharing my deepest thoughts and fears with them and they feel comfortable
enough to share theirs with me.
True and heartfelt communication opens one to
trust and understanding. Sharing who you are and what your hopes, fears and
desires are can create love and a desire to better understand the person you
are communicating with. You will better understand who they are and what makes
them tick. I was talking to a friend recently about how when she learns more
about another person and what struggles they might be dealing with causes
her to have a stronger love and understanding of who they are. Her love for
them grows. She creates a connection beyond just the surface mask we allow
everyone to see.
It’s okay to be vulnerable in communication. Opening your
heart can be scary but not all scary things are bad. I recently had another
friend open up to me about their struggles and what was hard for them. I’m
beyond grateful for that friend and their willingness to trust in me to share
their deepest fears and weaknesses. It allowed both of us to open a deeper line
of communication and grow closer as friends. I’m able to more deeply understand
them and be there for them when they need me and me them.
Opening your heart to love is wonderful. Be vulnerable and
know that you are surrounded by a friend or loved one who will love you for you
and your mistakes and strengths. They will see you in what the Savior and Our
Heavenly Father sees in you. Be strong and have humility.
My friend Katie recently shared with
me a podcast from the LDS Living podcast All In. It was titled “Living a
Mindful Latter-day Saint Life.” (I’ll post the link below) One of the things I pulled
most importantly for me from this podcast was being in the moment when you are with
people. We must create real connections and be in the moment and not ahead of
it when we are having a conversation. Don’t just go through the motions to go
through them but be in them. One way I do this is by asking my friends to
repeat themselves because I’ll have gotten lost in my own train of thought.
This may drive them nuts but for me it shows that I care enough to not just
hear what they are saying but to actually listen to what they are saying.
There is a difference between
hearing and listening. Hearing is basically what it reads. You hear the words
coming out of their mouths but listening to them is so much more. Listening is
hearing the words and processing them and actively striving to understand what
they are saying. Its listening well enough to ask questions in response to what
they are saying and acknowledging what they are saying.
Please open your heart and ears to
those important to you in your life. Let them know you love and care for them.
Tell them. Communicate with them who you are and what you need and do it lovingly.
Don’t demand but talk humbly and with love and respect.
No comments:
Post a Comment